In my practice of working with clients of all different types, invariably when questions have been posed for clarification or to penetrate the heart as a way of healing, he client will respond to the question posed with “I don’t know.”  Well, I have an “I don’t know” moment, as well.  As in, “I don’t know” what the response means.  Does it mean “I know, but not telling you,” which is an acceptable response, just leaves the therapist to figure that out on his own?  Or does it mean “I am out of touch with myself now and haven’t thought about it, but I will think about it now that you mention it?”  Or does it mean “I have thought about it, but don’t want to think any more about it because it is too painful (or any other emotion word that would fit)?  Although I don’t know the answer, I do hypothesize that it is most likely #3 – “I have thought about it, but don’t want to think any more about it because it is too painful (or any other emotion word that would fit).”

So you ask why I think this.  Often, we as therapists don’t give our clients as much credit as they deserve.  But in reality, the client is ultimately the greatest expert on himself/herself.  It is our role as therapists to harness that expertise into positive change and functioning.

If I am wrong about #3, and it is really #2 (“I am out of touch with myself now and haven’t thought about it, but I will think about it now that you mention it?”), it doesn’t mean that the client is not the expert or no longer the expert, but rather has essentially suspended him/herself from that role for the current time.

Considering these ideas of to what extent the client is the expert helps inform the therapist how to help the client.